What's so new about it?

     This morning was the first day of skewel after Christmas Baycation! No more waking up wit Bubbas to feast on cereals, and fwoot bars and watch Team Titans and play with my Waygoes. No more watching Bubbas play Minekwaft while Mamma and Dadda sweep. Instead, Mamma waked me up on a day that was too cold to put on shoes, and it wasn't time for breakfast yet and so I couldn't eat it. It was so cold that I only ate it a little bit and I left a crumb of waffle on my plate to show my disdain for the cold and offer the cruel god of winter a sacrifice in rebellion of his presence with me at breakfast lo these darkened days.

I can build whatever I imagine. I imagine a lot of abstract art.

     Mamma came downstairs and told me to put on my shoes. I told her I couldn't. When she asked me why, I explained gicuz I wasn't wearing any socks. She told me that was why I was cold. So the winter god is defeated by socks. My sacrifice must have appeased him. I had to hurry to put on my shoes because it was time to go. It's always time to go gicuz we're going to be late. I can buckle my own car seat and it's still Christmas outside some of the houses, but not all of the houses. Like my house, it only still has Christmas inside gicuz Dadda took off our lights outside. I often marvel at the ability to manipulate the season and time of day the way adults do. As if by magic they know when it is time for everything and how am I to argue when I don't have the info? Is anyone planning on providing me with a schedule? I try to tell people what's on my schedule, but grown-ups tell me my schedule is wrong and it's time for their agenda. When I get bigger I will tell everybody, we're late for playing. C'mon let's go! We're late! It's time to go!

     

I know what time it is.

      Skewel was just like I remembered it, a whirlwind of directions and activities and impulse control and coloring and playing with my friend Wacy and Joshua #2 and that's all the friends I have in my kwass. I had peanut butter and jelly sandwich, fwoot snacks, applesauce, and juice, but I was hoping for chocolate milk. One time Mamma gave me money for chocolate milk and sometimes after school they gots chocolate milk. Sometimes when we go out to eat I can have whatever I want to eat. Sometimes Dadda makes me what I want to eat. All the rest of the times no one gives me a menu. So all this coloring, whole days of coloring, and I don't even get to pick which meal I want at lunch. School has the worst kid's menus. 

"Out to Eat" - Joshua '13

Pokey the Cactus, an underrated mascot for the modern homeowner.

     When Dadda picked me up from school, my foot was hurted. I don't know how it got hurted, but it keeped on being hurted for awhile. Dadda told me I had marker on my face and to sit down and he taked off my shoe. He said the tongue was hurting my foot and that it's reepost to go on top of my foot, not down by my toes. Obviously Dadda doesn't know that the top of the foot doesn't taste like anything, it's the toes that have the real flavor. We drived home and it's still Christmas outside some of the houses. Mamma did Science with Bubba's and then Bubba's made me Mac and Cheese, but I wanted chips. There was too much Mac and Cheese and if I eated it all, then I wouldn't have room for the chips that I wanted, and I wasn't done watching the Waygo Movie and so Dadda said it was time for bed. When I went upstairs, the movie was already over and I didn't get to watch some of the parts. In the mirror I saw marker on my face and Dadda cleaned it off with my spider-man toothbrush after he brushed my teeth. Then we read a Waygo book and I went to sweep even though it was time for me to watch the Waygo Movie again. Dadda didn't bother to consult my schedule. I miss baycation. 

And Emmet and Wyldstyle and Goodcop Badcop and Unikitty and . . .

Today I am a pawn of the taskmasters back in my routine. Happy 2015!