What if I don't see my shadow?

Today I woke up and yup, I'm still sick. I'm sick of boogers. I'm sick of fevers. I'm sick of mandarin oranges and I'm sick of Goofy not getting it the first time. I mean c'mon isn't he like, seventy-eight years old? I'm only two and I can figure out most things quicker that that anthropomorphic dawg. That's when I realized that I'm being patronized! These children shows are all filled with idiotic characters whose sole purpose is to make me feel smart! Well, isn't that just great? So I'm supposed to grow up either deluding myself into thinking I'm a genius, or that one out of every five people is a moron. As I dwell on this epiphany for awhile longer, I think the latter is actually a pretty darn accurate, albeit cynical, perspective. I guess I should worry about being offensive, but in my defense, those that should be offended wouldn't get it anyway. Gawrsh!

I overheard Dadda mention that he has joined a stay-at-home Dad's group. He seems to think this will be an opportunity for me to terrorize  wrestle  meet some other kids my age. My question is, how is a group, whose name implies staying at home, going to meet anyone without leaving the house? I guess this is something similar to a public meeting place for agoraphobics or a non-partisan political party. Sometimes it's better not to try and make sense out of things and just go with it.

As in the case of the Noble Platypus.

My second birthday is coming up soon. I must be getting pretty old, I mean, I'm no septuagenarian cartoon dog, but I don't even remember my first birthday. I've seen the pictures, there were cupcakes, but that's all I know. I suppose as I begin to take on the years and come into a more mature time I should pause to reflect on what I've accomplished thus far. Let's take a look back, shall we?

FOOTAGE MISSING

Wait, what do you mean we don't have a clip? Oh well, it wasn't that long anyway. I guess too many pieces were left on the cutting room floor. However I can sum up the last two years in the below statistics. 


2920 Babbas
1467 Poopie Diapies
865   Drawers Emptied
623   Books Read
444   Goldfish Crackers Eaten
256   Fruit Snacks Lost in Couch Cushions
78     Outfits Ruined
23     Months
7       Days 'Till my Birthday
2       Bubbas Waiting for Cake
1       Country Awaiting a Benevolent Overlord


Today I updated my profile need another tissue!