In-house tooting

Dadda and I are on a new routine today. We got up and ready just like Bubbas and Mamma, then we came inside and I only got to watch a little bit of my show, Jake and the Neverland Pirates. I'm considering piracy as a potential career option, as it seems rather simple. For starters you live in a boat or on the beach the majority of the time and all you do is either protect treasure or look for treasure. I already maintain all my treasures on a regular basis. I conform to toddler code, section 1, rule 1, all things are mine regardless of possession, real or implied. In toddler law, possession is also 9/10ths of the law, but desire to possess is the other oneth or 1th well, whichever, if you have to ask, it's mine.

I wrote the rules. . .figuratively speaking.

Anyway, so Dadda turned off my show and before I could get upset, he coaxed me outside with promises of going buh-bye! We went to a new house with a new playroom and a new kid. As in most encounters, I eventually learned that this new kid was smaller than me, but also older than me as evidenced by his advanced communication skills. Psh, communication. I get by fine with my proprietary verbal shorthand. Let's just say everyone understands me fine, if not see my posts on vocabubaby. 

This other kid seemed intent on helping me with my stuff. If I put it down, he insisted on holding it for me or bringing it to me. This would not do. Fortunately Dadda was always a floor away playing school with some much older kids and one as old as bubbas! He called it home school toot-or-ring. I have two things to say about this. Number one (1) why is it that everything about Dadda involves figuring out a way to stay home? First it was joining a group of "Stay at Home" dads, and now it's a school in your own home! 

Number two (2) in my pants! Ha, get it? Seriously, somebody change this. Ok, now the second thing, he doesn't need to go to someone elses house for tooting, he does it just fine at our house and I can't believe someone else would pay him to teach their kids how to do it. Although, now that I think about it, the area where he worked didn't seem to smell all that bad and I never heard very many toots. As a matter of fact, that family had a Goomba of their own and she made me tortillas. I love a nice warm tortilla.


Eventually we left and Dadda played an interesting game on the way home. Every time I would attempt to travel by nap, Dadda would scream like some sort of crazy person or turn around and try to tickle me, once he swerved into oncoming traffic and another time I was riding a rainbow turtle in a giant bubble bath, or maybe I fell asleep. Anyway, as a toddler, nap time is a subjective concept. You see, sleep is relative, wether it's at the designated time and place for a miraculous 4-hour marathon of snoozing and drooling, or a 5-minute power nap on the car ride home. Either one will work for me and count as an official nap in my book. (see book above) So if it's the second example, then sorry it counts and I'm not sleeping anymore until night night. Of course Dadda says without a good nap I have low impulse control and anger management issues, but I usually just climb the nearest dresser, clear off all of the knick-knacks and have a full-blown temper tantrum when I can't get down.


Today I have to be restrained until unconscious am grumpy!