Run don't March

When did March get here? February seemed shorter than the other months, but only by a couple of days by my calculations. It's been tough getting to a computer since Dadda's been carting me off to parks and playgrounds with his stay-at-home dad's group. Looks like I need to have Dadda change the misnomer in my blog title, but bi-weekly is not only ambiguous, it's also too verbose for a title.

It has been brought to my attention that diapeys are passé, or at least not something for the discriminating toddler. Speaking of misnomers, I don't toddle, by any definition of the word. I topple, I terrorize, I'm tyrannical, but I don't toddle. So therefore the label "toddler" must go. I'm not sure if I can justify the label pre-schooler yet, any more than a mortgage is only pennies a day. . .bubba's have been playing monopoly, my top hat is on order.

Doughnut Pass GO!

So on the list of offenses these days are escape, pugilism and proselytizing, heretofore referred to as a "tantrum". However I prefer my word choice, I'm just trying to change your opinion on the matter through a series of very advanced and strategic techniques of manipulation. What you see as a limp and screaming floor baybee, I see as an awkward public display and a delayed, usually forgotten repercussion. These incidents have been attributed to my unwillingness to communicate on a higher level, but I attribute it to my caretakers and siblings unwillingness to bend to my will.

Not to mention that these so called "consequences" don't factor into my eternal optimism. What you see as a time-out, I see as a reflective time to enjoy a rarely seen part of the house. Yelling is no help either because yelling is my favorite and don't get me started on the obvious contradiction in spanking a child as punishment for recently smacking someone else. No candy for you! Did you manage to avoid the temptation of candy? Good for you, here's some candy!

Turn back, beyond here be morons.

Today I am argumentative playful!